Fear, Ego and the Light Within

‘Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure.’ Marianne Williamson

Without judgment, the acid test for our personal growth is the level of fear we experience.

This personal growth cannot come any sooner than when we are ready. We come to our understanding of who we truly are in our own timing, and so it is.

bird on a fence
Our fear is a veil, a limitation waiting to be healed. We are here to resolve it. Photo by Bonnie Kittle on Unsplash

We see much fear around us, in others, in the media we are saturated by, and maybe feel it within us as a shiver that encompasses our body or a gripping ache in the chest, stomach or kidneys.

In clinic, we explore this – what are we most fearful of? Usually people have a list of fears under which inevitably lies dying, of leaving children, family or loved ones behind and not having made enough of a difference. Feeling as if our lives didn't matter.

If only we knew how infinitely powerful we already are! We have each mapped out our lives: our Higher Selves in agreement with the Higher Selves of others have created agreement to achieve that which we wish to accomplish in this lifetime. That said, our Higher Self will work to create experiences to alert us to what it is we have chosen to heal using the path of least resistance.

Unsure of how this works? Let’s choose a common goal – to heal the fear of abandonment. We set the framework up in the planning stage before we come into this lifetime. Think of it as mapping the experiences needed to facilitate our goals.

So we choose our parents, our siblings and our most significant supports, even our nemesis, from the loving energy that surrounds us, within and without our soul families. We plan foundation experiences that will alert us to the need to heal this very human yet false belief that we are alone, abandoned and isolated, a feeling that has been with us in many lifetimes. Coming into this lifetime we will experience abandonment – first as children when perhaps a parent is too busy to connect when we need it, followed by a sense of betrayal at being sent to kindergarten where we feel no one understands us, a transient family that does not put down roots in any one space, or even more sinister events such as abuse, the loss of a significant loved one, or literal abandonment. This abandonment will play out in a series of events in a person’s life, repeating in various scenarios until it can no longer be ignored. This may look like mental health issues, physical pain and so on.

When examined, underlying this abandonment is an abandonment of self. The false notions that we are unworthy, unlovable, isolated and alone. The truth is we are infinitely loved, a part of source energy and even though those who create pain for us in this lifetime are following our instructions to create the experiences we need. Note, there are occasional exceptions of an external creator, however, we are generally the creator of our experiences. In fact, we have already mapped the most significant events in our lives including when we choose to exit this ‘mortal coil’ as my late uncle would say. Further, not only are we creating our own experiences, we are working to help others create the experiences they need to heal and evolve.

This brings us to Divine Timing. The coulda-woulda-shoulda’s are false constructs created by our Egos that wish to keep us safe, and usually through fear. We can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks of lives looking back. Pondering the decisions we made, the consequences of our actions, criticising ourselves for our choices, deconstructing every uncomfortable conversation we had. Yet what does this give us? It takes us out of the present moment and keeps us focused on the past. Again, what does this give us? At worst it will bring depression and physical pain. But there is always a ‘trade off’ for the things we do.

rocks in balance
Balance - it is usually a complex arrangement!

Our Ego will risk symptoms such as depression and pain in exchange for creating a ‘safe’ space. A space that is constructed to avoid the discomfort of intensely negative emotions, change and the unknown. In its desire to direct us away from ‘now’, away from our infinite ‘unknown’ and therefore frightening potential, our Ego is robbing us of this present moment. Keeping us focused on the past and stealing our ability to enjoy our life as it is. Our Higher Self will not allow us to continue living 'half a life' indefinitely without drawing our attention to the imbalance.

Consider this: if we, through our Higher Selves, have created these experiences for our highest good – to help us identify and heal imbalances, why would we doubt whether we made the right decision at any point? Every point - past, present, and future - has to be exactly what we need. Our Higher Self is loving, patient and kind. If we cannot recognise the message yet, we must continue to experience our imbalance- often with increased intensity, to get our attention. And that makes good sense, right? We learn through our experience whether we want more of the same or need to choose something different for ourselves. Often it is through intense discomfort that we search outside of our comfort zone.

As an aside, as fear becomes our Higher Self's priority and sometimes the closer we come to addressing fear, the more extreme it may become. This is not to deter us from looking at what sits underneath the fear. It is our Higher Self's way of saying, 'this is really important and I need you to address it'.

Again, addressing, healing and releasing fear and what lies below it cannot come any sooner than when we are ready. No judgment.

Trust. Allow. Appreciate the work our Higher Self is doing to help us achieve our goals.

Understand that we are here to gather experiences, to learn, to grow to evolve, and each day is a limited, precious moment on our timeline. Each day is one that we will never experience again - why would we want to stay small by allowing fear to dictate our actions?

Isn’t this what we truly fear? That we will have ‘lived’ a life without truly experiencing living?

If we choose to be our weird and wonderful selves, what will others think? My question is, if we wear a mask of fear to conform, how can those who will love us for who we really are, find us? And perhaps in the process of being ‘real’, true to ourselves we will inspire others to step out of their Ego’s norm. To free ourselves, to express our individual voice, share our truth and incredible selves with those we love and the world around us, this is why we are here.

See the Divine within.

You are love and light.



Kinesiologist & Energy Therapist

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