“I’m 56 and I feel invisible.”

This heading caught my eye the other day and left me pondering. As I started to write, a quick search of the web brought up popular related searches: “How not to become invisible as you age,” “Invisible woman syndrome,” “Invisible after 40,” and more, each filled with advice about how to remain visible – develop charisma, wear funky jewelry, cover your upper arms, and ‘walk like you are going somewhere’…



silhouette and woman
Searching for age appropriate images in media proves interesting! Image by Efes on Pixabay

Here’s the thing – no one makes us FEEL anything.


We feel the way we do because a) we don’t understand that what a person says reflects their belief system and how they feel about themselves and b) we have an emotional wound their comment has triggered and it is an invitation to heal our wound.


So, let’s put feelings aside briefly to find the beliefs that sit behind them.

What do you think about women as they age?

Do you see the lines gained through life’s experiences, the wisdom, the kindness in the eyes, the hands that have helped, the legs that have journeyed, the heart that loves?

Or do you see old, wrinkled, flabby and irrelevant?


You – we – can be forgiven for falling into the culturalist trap that skews our thinking into the latter mindset. We are surrounded at every turn by manufactured images of women. Rarely are older women reflected in the advertising designed to target their dollar (and let’s face it, it is all about the dollar). Instead, we see women whose every ‘blemish’ has been erased, lines filled, lips plumped, hair smoothed and shapes sculpted into forms more fitting of adolescents than grown women with curves.


Again, we can be forgiven for being drawn into the web of popular culture, rejecting our natural form and signing up for high intensity training, boot camp, and Botox. If we work hard on our bodies, train hard, go hard or go home, it will conform to our – and society’s- desired form.

Others will then look to us with desire.

And we will be loved and accepted.

And there it is.

We will be loved and accepted.


Let’s look at that for a moment.

What we see is what we create. The beliefs we hold have energetic currency. This energy then attracts the same low or high vibration that mirrors itself. Simply put, low vibration can look like this: I judge me, and so I invite others to judge me.



woman in the mirror
The world sees me as I see myself. Image by Rex Way on Unsplash

Can you say you love and accept yourself as you are?

I get that this can be challenging considering the saturation of media that states implicitly and explicitly that we are not enough as we are. Remember that this premise of not being enough is exactly what persuades women to purchase a whole range of products that make companies and shareholders money.


How are we responsible?

What if our tacit acceptance of 'not enough' is us participating in the cycle, the hamster wheel, of illusion and deceit that denies women currency, visibility.


We can say that adjusting lighting on our Instagram image is because it makes us feel good about ourselves. And this is a fair call if after we have examined our beliefs and can say we love our un-enhanced selves. One ‘acid test’ may be, are we comfortable enough in our own skin to pepper our shares with un-enhanced images as well as the styled and filtered ones?


If the answer is ‘no’ and the fear of judgment is great, we are then invited to examine why it is we judge ourselves so harshly (remember the world is a reflection of ourselves).


Triggers are our blessing

This takes us to b) our wound. Almost always, judgment is something that we are taught as very young children. It is part of the familial and cultural belief sets that are transferred to the individual simply as part of living. When we believe in judgment, we look to others to approve and reinforce our beliefs, or we judge others as ‘less than’ which makes us feel ‘better than’ another. It is simply an egoic game of validation based on fear caused by forgetting that we are indeed enough exactly as we are. (If you are unsure about this statement, look to any baby or small child to remember that we are born filled with self-love.)


Infinitely worthy

Within this physical form we call our body, is the energy we brought into it – our fragment of source energy. This energy that sits in our physical form is unconditional source energy, unconditional love, self-love even. Our fragment is connected to everyone and everything and is the reason we can say ‘all are one’. When we consider this, how then is it possible for one energy to be better or less than another?


Competition and judgment are part of the egoic illusion. And we can see through the illusion at any point we choose.


See through it, step off the hamster wheel and love the woman, the person, you are.

Love her as she deserves to be loved: wholly and unconditionally, exactly as she is in this beautiful form that gives her access to life on this earth. Choose not to waste another thought, another dollar, another moment of this precious life buying into egoic beliefs of lack.


women holding each other
By refusing to judge, we create change. Image by Luwadlin Boswin on Unsplash

A new way of 'seeing'

When we love and accept ourselves, that love and acceptance is what the world mirrors to us.


Once we see ourselves with compassion, we will have grown the compassion to see anyone who projects judgment with a compassionate heart, for they are merely showing us where they are on their growth trajectory.


This year is about creating change - real change - and the way we do that is to begin with ourselves.


Choose to be kind to yourself, gently reminding your ego any time it seeks to judge or criticize. Remind it that you now choose something better. To love yourself for your ability to move along this trajectory called life and thank your body for all it does.


Finally, if your body is hurting, seek medical help always and then look a inwards to identify how your belief set may no longer be in your best interest. If it resonates, an appointment will always highlight the soul’s message through the body’s symptoms.


Love, light and infinite blessings

Michelle Cowles


Kinesiologist/Energy Therapist/QHHT® Practitioner

Lakeside Kinesiology © 2022


#lakesidekinesiology #perspectived #vibration #novictimshere #energymatters

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